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Why Is Your Aging Adult so Adamant about Refusing Your Help?

When your elderly family member denies help or keeps you from knowing much about what is happening in her life, it’s difficult to be the caregiver that you really want to be. If you’re faced with this problem, figuring out her motivations is vital to solving the mystery.

Senior Care in Petaluma CA: Refusing Help

Senior Care in Petaluma CA: Refusing Help

It’s a Habit for Her.

Habits are really difficult to break, especially if your aging adult has always been very self-sufficient. She may worry about being a burden to you or to other family members and it can be difficult for her to lean on you and on other people. But she needs to understand that you’re there to help her, not to try to force her to do things she doesn’t want to do.

She’s Asserting Her Independence.

As your senior is growing older, she may feel more and more frequently that she’s at risk of losing more of her independence. Refusing your assistance is one way that she might feel that she’s able to maintain her independent lifestyle. Make sure she understands that you and anyone else who helps her, such as senior care providers or other family members, want to help her to stay as independent as possible.

She’s Depressed and Doesn’t Want a Witness.

Depression is very common for aging adults, especially if they have significant health problems. Your elderly family member might be worried about you seeing her that way, especially if you’ve always been the one looking up to her in the past. If your senior is experiencing depression, it’s important to talk with her doctor about her symptoms and to see if there is anything that you can do for her.

She’s Afraid of What Might Happen.

There’s a lot of fear involved in growing older. Your senior’s life is changing and sometimes it’s changing in ways that she can’t predict or control. Many people react to fear by withdrawing and keeping themselves secluded from the very people who want to help them the most. You may not even realize that your senior is experiencing fear about her situation because she keeps you from that knowledge.

Understanding the motivations behind some of the behavior that your senior exhibits can help you to be a better caregiver to her. You’ll have a better understanding of why she’s reacting the way that she is and that can help you to respond in a different way so that she has the help that she needs.

If you or an aging loved one are considering senior care in Petaluma, CA, call At Your Service Home Care.  Call today! (707) 573-1003

Lucy Andrews DNP, RN, MS

In 1988, after working as a clinical nurse in the University Health System at UC San Francisco, Lucy Andrews started understanding home care.

She became a discharge planner and immediately fell in love with the concept of home care and the autonomous clinical practice it affords nurses. Dr. Lucy was hooked and has been a strong supporter of home care ever since.Believing people need advocates in healthcare systems, she has championed that cause across the acute care and post-acute care setting.

Dr. Lucy has worked in every aspect of home care from Medicare Certified, DME, Infusion, Hospice and finally Private Duty/Private Pay services. She also works as a home care consultant across the country and as a legal nurse consultant for the home care industry.

Having worked in all areas of home care, Dr. Lucy has a well-rounded perspective of the challenges facing patients, families and the home care industry, and as a provider she advocates for patients through the maze of health care services. Dr. Lucy celebrated over 37 years as a nurse and patient advocate.

Dr. Lucy has a Baccalaureate Degree in Nursing from Lewis University, Romeoville, Illinois.In 1994, she received her Masters of Science in Health Service Administration from St. Mary's University, Moraga, California. Dr. Lucy received her Doctor of Nursing Practice awarded in 2016, graduating with Distinction and a 4.0 GPA.

She did her doctoral work on the global dementia crisis, aging and prevention strategies for healthy living. Developed dementia and Alzheimer's disease plans for aging patients leaving the hospital setting or entering long-term care or home health and hospice environments. She also developed a specialized program for those at risk for dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.

In 1992, Dr. Lucy was designated CAHSAH Certified Home Care Administrator in the inaugural offering of this designation through the California Association for Health Services at Home (CAHSAH).

She is the founder and CEO of Creative Solutions Home Care Consulting Services and At Your Service Nursing & Home Care, a concierge nursing & home care agency that provides the services she believes are essential for seniors to age in place.She offers a higher level of care allowing people to be in their own homes with an emphasis on independence, safety, and quality of life.

Dr. Lucy is the Vice Chair of the Board of Directors for the National Association for Home Care and Hospice (NAHC) and sits on the Board of Directors for California Association for Health Services at Home (CAHSAH).

She has served on the boards for both state and national board associations, and is currently on the following boards and committees: Board of Directors, California State Association for Health Services at Home (CAHSAH), 2002-present, National Association for Home Care and Hospice (NAHC's) Private Duty Home Care Association Director, and multiple state and national home care committees.

Dr. Lucy goes to Washington, DC, several times a year to advocate for senior services and home care issues. She was past Commissioner for the Sonoma Commission on Human Rights.She is past chair of the local Senior Advocacy Services.