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Five Reasons You’re Feeling Guilty as a Caregiver

Guilt can force you into situations and decisions that you really don’t want to be in. It can make you neglect yourself and your other responsibilities when you should feel just fine about taking care of everything in its own time. Here are a few reasons you may be feeling caregiver guilt.

Caregiver in Healdsburg CA: Reasons You're Feeling Guilty as a Caregiver

Caregiver in Healdsburg CA: Reasons You’re Feeling Guilty as a Caregiver

You Don’t Like the Negative Aspects of Caregiving.

If you’re honest, there are a lot of details about caregiving that aren’t all that positive. It’s perfectly normal to have aspects of caregiving that you don’t like and that you don’t want to deal with on a daily basis. You don’t have to. If it’s something that you can delegate to someone else, then do that. And don’t feel guilty about not doing it yourself.

You and Your Senior Have Had a Tough Relationship.

Not every relationship between caregiver and care recipient was full of rainbows and puppies before caregiving. You and your senior are both human beings and you have made mistakes and been upset with each other. This is also normal. You can try during this chapter of your relationship to fix the wrongs of the past, but if your senior is past being able to do that, you may need to let it go on your own.

You Think Other Caregivers Are Doing a Better Job.

One thing that people often do to themselves is to compare what they’re doing with what other people are doing. This is dangerous in so many situations, but as a caregiver, you can start to feel as if you’re not doing anything right. Other caregivers may seem as if they’re doing everything exactly right and you just can’t. But never forget that many other people may be watching you and feeling that you’ve got everything together.

You Lose Your Temper.

Again, you’re a human being. Human beings occasionally lose their temper with people who don’t deserve it. It’s not a good practice and if you’re taking your frustration out on someone who isn’t involved, that definitely needs an apology. But you can’t keep feeling guilty about it.

You Begrudge Yourself Time Away.

All too often caregivers believe they shouldn’t ever take any time away from caregiving and if they do, it should be for a really good reason. But you can and you should take time away to do whatever you want and need to do. Even if that’s nothing at all.

If you find yourself feeling guilty, take the time to sit down and assess what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling that way. Guilt has a way of making you look deeper into situations and looking at whether you have a reason for that feeling. Only then can you admit that there’s no reason for you to be carrying that guilt around.

If you or an aging loved one are considering caregiver services in Healdsburg, CA, call At Your Service Home Care.  Call today! (707) 573-1003

Lucy Andrews DNP, RN, MS

In 1988, after working as a clinical nurse in the University Health System at UC San Francisco, Lucy Andrews started understanding home care.

She became a discharge planner and immediately fell in love with the concept of home care and the autonomous clinical practice it affords nurses. Dr. Lucy was hooked and has been a strong supporter of home care ever since.Believing people need advocates in healthcare systems, she has championed that cause across the acute care and post-acute care setting.

Dr. Lucy has worked in every aspect of home care from Medicare Certified, DME, Infusion, Hospice and finally Private Duty/Private Pay services. She also works as a home care consultant across the country and as a legal nurse consultant for the home care industry.

Having worked in all areas of home care, Dr. Lucy has a well-rounded perspective of the challenges facing patients, families and the home care industry, and as a provider she advocates for patients through the maze of health care services. Dr. Lucy celebrated over 37 years as a nurse and patient advocate.

Dr. Lucy has a Baccalaureate Degree in Nursing from Lewis University, Romeoville, Illinois.In 1994, she received her Masters of Science in Health Service Administration from St. Mary's University, Moraga, California. Dr. Lucy received her Doctor of Nursing Practice awarded in 2016, graduating with Distinction and a 4.0 GPA.

She did her doctoral work on the global dementia crisis, aging and prevention strategies for healthy living. Developed dementia and Alzheimer's disease plans for aging patients leaving the hospital setting or entering long-term care or home health and hospice environments. She also developed a specialized program for those at risk for dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.

In 1992, Dr. Lucy was designated CAHSAH Certified Home Care Administrator in the inaugural offering of this designation through the California Association for Health Services at Home (CAHSAH).

She is the founder and CEO of Creative Solutions Home Care Consulting Services and At Your Service Nursing & Home Care, a concierge nursing & home care agency that provides the services she believes are essential for seniors to age in place.She offers a higher level of care allowing people to be in their own homes with an emphasis on independence, safety, and quality of life.

Dr. Lucy is the Vice Chair of the Board of Directors for the National Association for Home Care and Hospice (NAHC) and sits on the Board of Directors for California Association for Health Services at Home (CAHSAH).

She has served on the boards for both state and national board associations, and is currently on the following boards and committees: Board of Directors, California State Association for Health Services at Home (CAHSAH), 2002-present, National Association for Home Care and Hospice (NAHC's) Private Duty Home Care Association Director, and multiple state and national home care committees.

Dr. Lucy goes to Washington, DC, several times a year to advocate for senior services and home care issues. She was past Commissioner for the Sonoma Commission on Human Rights.She is past chair of the local Senior Advocacy Services.